Ghost in the City

1/4/2012

Being in 'transition' is a strange feeling, i liken it to what it would feel like to being a ghost. As i ride the train into the city I feel completely detached from everything and everyone. I feel like i am floating, and i watch people as they go past me and they are all occupied with their routines and lives, and then there is me, in transition. It is a weird sensation, that feeling of not really being apart of anything in particular, not having any real responsibility or routine to my daily life. I wish i cared, but honestly i don't at this point, and maybe that is a good thing or a coping mechanism. I think it makes it easier to deal with change when you just 'let go'.
It is like jumping off a cliff and free falling, i am not ready to pull the shoot yet because there is a freedom in the unknown and in the 'falling'.
Being a ghost in the city is my new reality for the moment and I am ok with it. I know i can't drift forever, but when you have gone through such life altering 'stuff' as i have over the last few months, giving yourself time to be 'everywhere and nowhere' is a good move emotionally. I know there will come a time soon when i will be ready to pull the rip chord on the parchutte and step back into 'reality' and that ghostly feeling will be become a distant emotion, but for the 'now', i welcome it.

11 Comments

Susan Yammouni link

1/4/2012 08:11:33 am

Standing on the cusp, it can fall either way, but in the last few years that I have been following you at LMM and Twitter I know you'll fall on the better side. I say revel in this transition phase because when a slate is wiped clean, it's open to all sorts of adventures. When I went through a similar thing I chose to go back to Uni, something I thought I could never do because of my situation. I thank the Universe everyday for my bumps and falls, it reminds me that I've lived, not just existed. Sending you big hugs Gaz

Seth link

1/4/2012 09:09:44 am

I say go with it and enjoy this new feeling, this new change, and this new identity. You will soon enough have a routine and feel more settled. I bet you can and will channel some of these feelings into you work and it will be interesting to see if there are changes there as a result.

Jon Willis

1/4/2012 04:06:34 pm

The anthropologist Victor Turner wrote a lot about liminality and liminality states which he described as being between states of being, living on the threshold between one status and another. Maybe you should be thinking about the imagery of doorways and doorsteps during this time - explore and express it for the rest of us who are stuck in our state

Anja Voigt

1/5/2012 06:39:36 am

I guess it is a good way to go inside and be in this world but not of this world. I totally understand how you feel and I very often enjoyed these phases, where you are just "being". You just exist as a witness.
I think it is a time to listen to your heart and decide where it drags you next. Big hugz to you! xoxoxo

1/5/2012 06:39:43 am

1/5/2012 06:39:50 am

1/5/2012 06:39:59 am

Carol link

1/8/2012 08:37:01 am

Gary, you've been through some huge life changes, and you are entitled to take a step back and give yourself time to just 'be'. As Anja says, listen to your heart. One of your strengths is your ability to really feel but this also makes you vulnerable. You made a good decision to go to Melbourne, such a city of art, and I'm sure you will make a great success of your life there. All the best, and a huge welcome back to Australia. Hugs, Carol xx

Chrissie link

1/10/2012 05:31:23 pm

I have been interested in your journey for a while and been inspired by your creative life - good luck with your ghost walking - l hope to join a workshop with you someday.
Chrissie X

Melissa

1/12/2012 05:59:40 am

Gary, what a beautiful message--I appreciate how well you communicate with words as well as with your art. Being a "ghost" sounds like a mixed blessing, allowing you the distance to observe (which as an artist provides such a rich tapestry of reference to call upon), and yet given how engaged and engaging you are, I'm guessing it might feel a litte empty too. I have received so much from you in terms of inspiration and techniques,so thank you. I will add you to my morning prayers and request that your counselors and guides (angels and/or god/goddess--however you see it) will continue to provide what you need, when you need it. I find your trust beautiful and believe that is the KEY ingredient to an abundant life. ALL the best to you, please keep sharing!

BigMouseWorld link

5/26/2022 06:46:18 pm

Hi!

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Ghost in the City

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